Ah Heck, Just Write…..I Can’t!

I write a sentence, create a paragraph, I’m so happy I’m writing but then I read it, and I delete it or tear it out the tablet and throw it across the room. What the heck is wrong with me I keep wondering?

Well this is nice I have actually finished something and I’m going to post it regardless, just because I want to have something to put on my blog and who knows maybe someone can give me a bit of inspiration to keep going.

• • Feeling Trapped

I knew going in for surgery on my ankle it was going to be hard, but dang this is driving me crazy. For two months I haven’t been able to put any weight on my left foot, so that means I am trapped in bed and only allowed to go to the bathroom or the living room to watch TV and I have a computer so I don’t watch that much damn TV. And because I live on the third floor with no balcony or a deck to step out on, I’m pretty much stuck in the house. Do you know how hard it is to walk on one foot with a walker, not easy at all.

• • Feeling like the start of a Hoarders episode

Even though I got two grown daughters that come over (though one lives here, just rarely home), to help cook a meal, feed the cats and clean litter boxes, they have turned my little apartment into shambles and it’s just cluttered from the kitchen to my room. I guess I shouldn’t be upset with them nobody knows how to do your place like you know how. Plus a friend was moving out of state and giving away everything and yep I got some of it and its everywhere. Of course the clutter is driving me insane and that alone is making it hard to think.

• • Feeling Afraid

Ok now I know that one is silly, but people have actually commented on my posts and even started following me, so yep I’m scared I will sound dumb, silly and a whole bunch of other nonsense. I know that it shouldn’t matter but I want to be able to give people a reason to come back. So yes it’s about my issues and me and at almost fifty they still rage their ugly heads.

With all that being said, now what? That’s a good question, well this is my last week of no weight and I will be fitted with a walking cast so now I can get up and clean my apartment. I can finally clear out the clutter from every room and maybe start to think clearly again. I can start a serious job search, since I am looking for something that I’m not standing on my feet all day any more, cause I am not going to ruin this ankle after all this mess you have got to be kidding me.

I can start cooking again, sure it’s been great to have others cook and bring me food but I miss my own cooking not to mention I’ve got some new recipes I want to try and hey this is a food blog too. Besides if the boyfriend brings me one more veggie party platter to snack on I am going to throw it at him. And the best thing is I can get out of my house and enjoy the rest of my summer…oh how I have missed the sun!